Stake Conference..

I just got back from a very wonderful stake conference. I absolutely loved the classes I went to. We had one very inspirational speaker that is a "parent and family life coach" come speak and teach a class. The class she taught was on, "Parenting our heavenly fathers way". I totally loved every minute of it!!! Just some quick points that she made that I am totally glad she said.....

Heavenly Father showed Adam and Eve NO Anger, Held them accountable for their actions and He fallowed threw with the consequences.

She gave an example of a 10 year study done on the brain activity with positive and negative interactions. She said that when the child had done something wrong and the adult in the situation yelled or said things harsh, the blood flow to the frontal lobe would constrict and the blood flow would then flow to the tail of the brain where the hormones are. The child would then not be able to think strait and then possibly cry or say/think they are scared, etc.

They found that children that were doing things wrong, once an adult figure stepped in and responded with gentleness and calmness and set up a consequence and fallowed threw, the child's frontal lobe light up and they would correct the problem and have a better attitude towards the consequence giver. (I really hope I'm saying that right or that you get that!)

She told us to avoid yelling or using loud voices when dealing with the child. If the child is whining or the child has done something wrong, say something like, "that's sad", "I'm sorry", "oh darn it", "bummer". Say whatever you say in a calm and sincere as possible voice and explain to that child that there is a consequence for what they just did and then fallow threw with that consequence.

EMPATHY:
Empathy allows the child to see that the adult cares. (example... When a child is complaining or doing something that they shouldn't be doing, don't yell, maybe say, "That is sad you are choosing to do that"-with sincerity!).
Avoid embarrassment, sarcasm and humiliation when dealing with kids. (no matter what age).

Ephesians 6:4
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
3Nephi 18:32
"Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not bit what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them."
D&C 121:41-43
"41. No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love enfeigned;
42. By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile--
43. Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;"

Don't try to control something that you really cant control. (example... kids friends you don't approve of... Ask your child questions about that friend. Ask them why they like to hang out with that friend. Maybe you will learn that that friend really isn't all that bad, or they will understand why you don't like that friend.)

Teach when things are well, not when it's bad. or better yet... Teach, don't correct the child's behavior while there is conflict. (avoid correcting the problem during the problem. Try to correct what the child is doing wrong when they are being good. For example, when a child is getting into something, take it away and then put it away without yelling. Then later when the child is playing or doing something else, point out that that object or substance is not for them to get into.)

Create a relationship with your children. Without relationship, there is no teaching!

I don't know about you, but I really needed to hear alot of that, so I know that is going to help me (hopefully) with me and my children!